2002-12-27 10:33 a.m.
warm-blooded new times

by this point, D should be kickin' it at the gate in Newark, waiting for his plane to start boarding.

I'm very relieved that he's going home. Not because it wasn't a lot of fun having him around, but I miss the sanctity and solitude of my apartment when no one else is in it. Lots of company, lots of video games and music, lots of everything lately...and the ref calls TIME OUT.

Not that having the lovely Miz L in my life has been a cross to bear. We were up almost all night Christmas Night, talking about, well, everything: drugs, politics, theosophy, exes, how fun and silly and delicious she is to be with (oh, wait, I was only thinking that the whole time). New Year's in Philly should be hella fun, especially since the only time I've been there was a side trip with a summer camp (and 'ring my bell' takes on many new meanings now).

Good, warm soul, good, warm times.

D and I tripped on Christmas Eve � now a yearly tradition for the BG. D said afterward that he felt like he'd been given a new coat of paint (an odd choice of words)...I feel like I got the chance to play with the focus on the lens on my life. This fall's been about having time and space alone, falling in love with myself (christ, not in a masher kinda way), feeling the lovelove more often that I used to allow. The play, my strengths, even my weaknesses (which don't seem so immense)...micro to macro, big pictures all around.

While crashed on the boardwalk on Brighton Beach, D reminded me of something Joyce, our old friend from the dollar store (fuck, do I wish I knew where she was), said about me...she said that I was too good for this world, that the world didn't know how to accept or handle the heart that I had to offer it. D said it was tragic.

(Maybe it is, but that doesn't change how I live my life. It can't.)

search phrases that led people to my journal yesterday:

rough trade

such a perfect day

media soup

I'm frightened by some of the links I get lumped in with.