2002-10-31 1:01 p.m.
I don't know why I love you, I don't know why I care

Yesterday I got a huge smile on my face as I wrapped myself up in the big red coat for the first time this season, the first time I really needed it. Hood up, Paddington-Bear-style fasteners down my chest, and getting smiles from everyone who saw it. Sang in empty subway tunnels at midnight, danced and jumped around, feeling full, warm, and refreshed. Love that coat.

So many people I know want to hibernate when it gets cold. I just want to feel snow on my tongue, get all red-cheeked from the chill, play games, explore, get lost.

I had to break another heart this week. To be fair, she didn't give me any other choice. You draw boundaries, she pretty flatly says she's not going to respect them; you back off in ten different ways, she keeps calling and emailing; you finally say, "for fuck's sake, I just want to be friends. Get it? FRIENDS. No sex, no cuddly wuddly, FRIENDS. F-R-I-E-N-D-S."

Hope springs eternal, but hopefully not in this case. Otherwise, I'm going to have to start screening my calls.

I don't want to build up bad karma...does it count if someone just doesn't accept what you're telling them? (D and his girl from Tokyo spring to mind...she didn't want to hear what he was telling her over the phone, so she came 3000 miles to have her heart broken. If I could've stopped her myself, I would have.)

I've survived massive plumbing problems this weekend and the labor pains of making 560 cookies for a theater benefit...I can take anything!

(Yep, he's got the power. Scott and the kids at the theater all say so, so who am I to dissuade them?)

New face in my life. Tonight, if she's game, we're going to be spy kids, infiltrating the Halloween madness. Should be hella crazy fun.