2002-03-10 11:14 a.m.
face flushed, full of light

Thanks to Onea for inspiration.

I already blocked off time today for starting this one-act play I've pledged to finish for my trip to Atlanta (more on that in a minute), and then I read another great entry on m'sieu Bradbury, and I feel hopeful, hopeful about the coming month and year.

I just got off the phone with Mom, and she always reminds me, though behavior not words, that she'll never understand me.

Money. Isn't. Important.

All she can ever think about it is security, having emotional needs and financial needs satisfied in one cocoon-like state that is part life, part stasis.

All I can think about is doing something with my time/life that makes my spirit sing, that makes me feel alive in the most potent ways possible.

As depressed as I was about the fact that D. and I failed to break into the comic world (at least for now; we haven't tried since September), I still look back on the huge amount of work that we did, and I remember that flood of pride in D. and I's camaraderie, the creative mix that we became, and the wealth of stories we were inventing, the microcosms that erupted out of us...I regret none of it.

At the same time, I don't know that we're ever going to get back to that work, as much as we'd like to. I need to travel, and I imagine that by the time I get back, D. will be so embroiled in his work and life that he'll be quite over the idea of us collaborating. He likes his space (creative and physical), and I don't think that's going to change.

I want to see what's going to come out of my own mouth again, and I want to pull the world into me in the meantime, travelling, staying open to everything around me.

Tabi and I were running around, and saw a plethora of amazingly cute children, heard an operatic couple having sex (operatic from the sounds of their moans), and bumped into tons of Brooklyners that amaze me with the lives they've led. I can't get over the beauty of this place when you're in the right place at the right time.

S. and I are calming down, for the first time in a few months (though I'm probably jinxing it now), issues out in the open, talks happening, and I feel the space between us lightening, though that may be premature. That makes me happy. I've been full of heartache and total confusion about what was happening between us � other than the obvious frustrating moments of crying and impatience with each other � and today my heart feels light.

And now, brunch at Old Devil Moon. More later, because there's more to say.