2002-03-04 6:04 p.m.
the trance remains the same

Sometimes I don't really know why I keep this diary.

Last April (when I started this) D. and I hadn't really started working together yet on our San Diego comic pitches, and while I had ideas of my own burning, I wasn't really doing all that much. I felt that other than notching the wall, I wanted to find a way to count the days, reflect, and talk to someone who wouldn't get sick of hearing it.

I feel like this year (and I say year because in another month, this will mark one year of me on diaryland) has flown by feverishly and slightly unconsciously, like the delirious trances I used to go into in Atlanta at 1 in the morning, where strange words would pour out of me into my computer that somehow coalesced into a story.

Actually, if I had to pin a state on my life, delirious trance sounds about right: most of it's been instinctual, intuitive, nothing definite or mapped-out, but full of "things you have to do." I don't want to finish the map right now. I just want to feel free enough to follow where it's leading me without fear.