2001-05-27 2:35 p.m.
frustration for a stiff wind whore

I'm an addict. I love being anywhere where I can chill with a steady cool breeze blowing on me. Maybe I'm a stiff wind whore. Maybe that's ridiculously sexual for this diary.

I was wondering about that this morning as I was perusing this page, whether too many people I know know about this page to where I can truly play confessor on it. A lot of things go through my head daily, a lot about sex, a lot about violence, a lot of other ideas about places and people, and I don't stop wondering how many people on diaryland really censor what they write to some degree. I was following M's diary for a while, as I said, and I got kinda tired of it, as what was talked about seemed like a tease: a dream here, a few moments there, talking about the guy that she doesn't want but wants her...maybe there just isn't that much going on in her life, or maybe she just doesn't want to share some thoughts.

It's funny, though. I created this space for ideaflow, and I was so proud of getting at least this together (and I still haven't fixed the cheese-ass graphics, lazy tit that I am) that I told a lot of people that I know about it. I also know you're all out there reading, as the stats keep rising (somewhere around 26 people a day).

Do I care?

Do I dare?

Let me think on that for a night.

In other news, I had Dan give me another haircut...he always pulls off something interesting...damned if I know how. It's simple, short, buzzed along the back and sides...feels good, though.

Last night was irritating, though. Went to a get-together for a site supposedly about thoughtful hedonism, and the most interesting people blitzed out after an hour, while the socially ineffective ones stayed, surrounded by goth people who obviously used the space regularly and were surprised to hear my music (while not bad, obviously not their cup of tea)...it was all awful and ludicrous and pathetic. I had to wait to get my mix back (I only have one copy and no way of making another right now) while some girl did what seemed like karaoke until I realized it was Shoegazer-style vocals to laptop arranged music...and not done very well. I don't like Shoegazer (a la Slowdive) stuff on the whole because I can't understand lyrics under that kind of singing, and the music just gets very repetitive...it's annoying, let's leave it at that.

so I left. I tried to go to Level X for the show I meant to see and it was packed and pretty much over anyway. so I went home.

If I ever think about going to another online function, shoot me.